


To Figure Out What You Like

by YesBothWays



Series: Bea and Allie (without the tragedy) [1]
Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: F/F, Femslash, First Time, Rape Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 15:02:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7645843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YesBothWays/pseuds/YesBothWays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically just sex.  Picks up after s4e10, which ends with Bea climbing into bed with Allie after she comes down off heroine.  If the plot wasn’t twisting everyone up and time could pass more slowly in their world, I think Bea and Allie’s sexual relationship might pick up and go something like this.  </p><p>Please God, don't let this fic get you to watch this show.  Wait until the entire thing has aired and read trigger warnings, then commit.  Do as I say, not as I do...</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Figure Out What You Like

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ciprus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ciprus/gifts).



            Allie spent days burrowed as deep in a hoodie as she could get and wearing layers of clothing. There was something about coming down that made everything terrifying. She’d been in this place before. The reckless fearlessness was what she would always miss the most about drugs. Allie found that she could sleep with no blanket in an open doorway without a single worry when she was high enough. She felt embarrassed to admit when she became terrified of everything around her, and it felt worse when she realized it was probably because everything around her really should seem terrifying. She missed her bravery and kept telling herself it would come back to her again.

            Both Bea and Maxine seemed to catch on to Allie’s fearfulness despite how quiet Allie was about it. They would linger near her in the showers, the cafeteria, and the yard. Kaz must have recognized it as well. When the chance finally came, she slapped a tray down behind Allie in the dinner line and laughed when she jumped. Allie’s hands were shaking visibly when she picked up a serving spoon, and Kaz scoffed at her again.

            “I hope you’re having fun,” Allie turned to her and said.

            “Same,” Kaz said without even trying to hide how bitter she was.

            Allie couldn’t help but look directly into Kaz’s eyes for a moment, searching for what all was there. She learned a long time ago to read through all the layers with Kaz. And coming down like this always left her even more sensitive than usual, even more perceptive.

            “I‘ve never once laughed at you,” Allie said to Kaz, “And I never will.”

            Kaz softened at that and seemed to regret the mean joke she had pulled. Allie just went and sat beside Maxine, who reached over to rub at her arm. Bea was staring at Kaz across the room, and she glanced at Allie. She seemed to tone down the aggression in her look deliberately. She knew that Allie still loved Kaz, and that was probably the only reason she hadn’t beaten her senseless already over the cruel lie Kaz had told Bea.

            The first real signs of returning to herself came in the evenings. When they settled into H block and the gates were closed, Allie had less to fear. But in those first days, everyone was scary. Even Bea seemed threatening to Allie, and she would watch to see if her eyes or her jaw would suddenly go tense. She was mixing Bea up with Kaz, she knew, and the idea was embarrassing. But this was how it was coming down. As the aura of fear faded out of H block, Allie felt a profound sense of relief and also of returning to herself.

            Bea seemed to notice her coming back to herself, as well. She would joke around with Allie and tease her in the evenings. A night finally came when Allie was bundled on the couch, surrounded by the others. Bea came to H block last, and she smiled at the sight of Allie laughing at the jokes the others made. They had to stand for the count, then they trickled back to where they had been sitting. Bea came and sat on Allie’s lap, as if she hadn’t seen her there.

            “Oh, sorry,” Bea said, squashing Allie deliberately.

            The others were laughing hard. Maxine took Bea’s hand to drag her up off the couch. Allie sat up a bit in case Bea tried it again.

            “You’ve been so quiet, I forgot you were there,” Bea teased.

            Liz moved to let Bea sit down beside Allie. Bea held onto Allie’s knee. Allie felt herself glancing at the others in worry over the open affection Bea was showing her. But Boomer just laughed and grinned, and Maxine gave Bea a look of blatant pride and encouragement. Doreen’s face held a grin that seemed so well intentioned that Allie felt as if her chest relaxed from tension held there so long, she couldn’t remember a time before it. Even Sonia seemed to approve of Allie’s presence. They hung around sharing a last cup of tea and a few biscuits.

            “Is Kaz giving you a hard time?” Maxine asked, reaching out to touch Allie’s arm.

            “No, not really,” Allie said.

            “You’ll tell us if she does?” Maxine asked.

            “No. She won’t,” Bea laughed. “Don’t let her tell you otherwise.”

            “Seriously, it’s all right,” Allie said.

            “Well, okay,” Maxine said. “But just know that we’re watching you.”

            “Watching her anyway,” Boomer said. “She gives you the stink eye anymore, we’ll set her straight, won’t we?”  

            There was a murmur as the others tried to either amplify or soften the threat Boomer had made. Boomer listened to the crosstalk and seemed a little subdued. Allie knew this was all just talk to make her feel better, not really to threaten Kaz.

            “You have been reluctant to leave H block, since you arrived,” Sonia said.

            “That’s just… part of it,” Allie said. “The feel of a dangerous life catching up with me after checking out for a while.   It’s nobody’s fault.”

            “Well, you’re safe here, love,” Liz said.

            “Yeah. You’re safe with us,” Boomer said.

            “Despite all the threats of bashings you’ve received in the past,” Doreen joked.

            “Yeah, well, she’s family now, ain’t she,” Boomer said.

            Allie felt herself tear up at the press of so much kindness. The others cleared out slowly, and Bea lingered on the couch with Allie. They chatted about every light thing they could think of, consciously avoiding talk of the Freak or the tensions still stirred up over Bea getting Allie moved to H block. Bea was settled back onto her end of the couch. She was easy to make laugh tonight. Her smile would fade quickly, however, and eventually she sat up with something more serious to say.

            “Allie, I never really apologized to you,” Bea said.

            “You’ve done more than that,” Allie said. “Let’s just let it drop.”

            “You’ve never done me any harm,” Bea said, “And I really went after you.”

            “You didn’t know that, Bea. I get it.”

            Bea leaned forward and rested her head on Allie’s knee. The regret that showed just in the line of her shoulders was astonishing. Allie reached and touched her shoulders. She felt her body tense just from this small sensation of touching Bea. She swallowed hard wanting to ask Bea if they might ever kiss again.

            “I don’t suppose you’d be open to any more invitations to the equipment room,” Allie joked.

            Bea laughed and leaned up to look at Allie. She seemed to be suppressing a look of intense regret. Allie shook her head.

            “It’s okay,” Allie said. “I get it. If you ever change your mind, you just let me know, okay?”

            “I haven’t changed my mind about anything,” Bea said and gave Allie a willfully steady look.

            Allie felt her heart begin pounding at this. She sat herself up more. And she put her cup of tea aside. Some of the others had their doors open, but Boomer had a radio playing softly. She doubted they could overhear much.

            “The closer we get, the more dangerous it’ll be for you,” Bea said.

            “You know I really don’t care about that,” Allie said.

            “I think you should,” Bea said.

            Bea seemed heavy with her own thoughts. Allie was too focused on the idea that Bea might want to take things up with her again to focus much on her own worries or even on Bea’s. Looking at Bea, Allie felt like herself again. She sat up fully and glanced around H block. The world seemed set right to her somehow, and she wasn’t scared just now. She breathed a sigh of relief and just sat with the feeling for a long moment.

            “Are you still soft on me, Bea Smith?” Allie asked her.

            Bea leaned up and laughed. Her eyes were red and wanting to fill up with tears. She nodded in a way that moved her whole body.

            “Yeah,” Bea said. “I am.”

            “Then I’ll come to your room tonight, once the others are asleep. If you want me to come in, you just leave the door open for me a bit. If not,” Allie said and ended with a shrug.

            Bea had a startled look on her face. Allie just leaned forward, took Bea’s hand, and held it for a moment. She kissed the back of Bea’s hand, and the press of Bea's skin against her lips made Allie's skin prick as if a slight electric charge quietly moved through her body. She took a deep breath and rubbed Bea’s leg. Then she got up to go to her own room until everyone settled down. She gave Bea a grin, before she closed her door, and the smile on Bea’s face made her feel for sure that she would find Bea’s door open later.  

           

            Bea didn’t really know what to do with herself before Allie came. She went into an almost manic spiral of worry. Then she realized she was mixing up her anxiety over the likelihood she was about to have sex with Allie with everything else. She tried to focus on the resolve she had felt before she got drugged and everything went completely insane. She could get a few wisps of the resolve back when she really tried. But she kept pacing around her room in worry. Maybe she wasn’t cut out for this. She got worked up enough to cry, and then she calmed down a little bit.

            The quiet of a night’s sleep settled onto H block. Bea kept checking to make sure her door was not shut all the way. She finally settled into her bed wearing only a shirt and a pair of underwear. Her heart was beating hard already, and she tried to distract herself with some drawing. She managed to really sink into it a few times, even though some part of her mind stayed focused on the door.

            Allie slipped Bea’s door open and came inside. Her bare feet made no sound on the heavy floor, but Bea’s attention was already focused on the door, so she didn’t startle. Allie clicked the door shut behind her and leaned into it a little. She smiled at Bea from across the room. Bea got up out of the bed without meaning to or planning what she would do after she did. She turned and pushed the covers aside on the bed, so they could get into it. Allie was watching her from the door, waiting a moment before crossing the distance between them.

            Bea wanted to find that boldness she had brought with her every time she came to find Allie after that first day. She remembered how she had swept Allie up with her into a round of almost desperately passionate kisses, and it seemed like someone else who did that. Now, she felt a bit lost. Her body seemed almost tangled up with itself. With the door to the room closed, they were as tucked away here in a private space as they had in the equipment room. And yet, then they were stealing time, as well. Whereas now, all the time they wanted stretched out in front of them. The potential seemed to fill the room and made Bea feel small inside of it.

            Allie took off her hoodie. She was looking at Bea’s naked legs as she placed it on the back of her chair. She leaned forward to slip off her pants and put them over her hoodie. She crossed the room with the same soft, silent movements; she reminded Bea of a cat as she did. The idea made Bea smile. Allie reached out her hands from a bit of a distance to take Bea’s and worked their fingers in between one another’s. She gripped Bea’s hands as she looked over Bea’s face. Bea’s desire for Allie felt like a heavy blanket that came over her mind, soothing her and blocking out any other thoughts.

            “Should I put the light out?” Bea asked her.

            “No way,” Allie said. “I want to see your face. Among other things.”

            Bea grew so bashful at this that her fingers came to her lips. She felt herself grinning. Allie brought one hand to hold Bea’s face then rested it on her neck.

            “I want to figure out what you like,” Allie said running her thumb very gently over the hollow at the base of Bea’s throat.

           When she looked up, Bea felt herself laugh a bit at openness of the lust in Allie’s expression. Allie smiled at her, and Bea recognized also an incredible softness in her expression. Allie got Bea's hands in her own again and pulled her in a bit closer, so they could kiss. The feel of their lips touching made Bea aware of how long it felt since they had last kissed. The relief that flooded through her body put her on the edge of weeping right at the first before she settled again into the feel of her chest expanding the way it would whenever they kissed, almost aching she grew so full of joy and pleasure.

            “Will you tell me some things?” Allie said, close to Bea’s ear.  

            It took a brief moment for Bea to understand what she meant.

            “I don’t have anything to tell,” Bea said, and she felt this to be a shameful confession.

            “Okay,” Allie said, kissing Bea’s neck. “We’ll just take it slow, then. I don’t mind if we end up just kissing all night.”

            Allie turned Bea’s face to kiss her. Bea felt Allie’s lips part her own, and Allie’s tongue brushed across hers. The movement was heavy and deliberate, an insinuation - the promise of what might happen if Bea were willing. Bea’s mouth opened wider at the feel. Her lips trembled as an instinctive desire to close her mouth lost out to a stronger instinct that still seemed unfamiliar in comparison. In response, Allie brushed her tongue across Bea’s slower and more fully. A shiver of heat broke out in Bea’s chest, and Allie felt it in her hands that were resting on Bea’s shoulders. She shifted closer and held Bea a little firmer.

            In just a few kisses, Bea was already taken off her guard. The desire had been building between them for so long, even when Bea was trying to ignore it. She imagined any release between them would have to be an intense one. She realized that, in her mind, intensity meant that the way they came together would be sharp and sudden. She imagined that she would lose the thread and the experience would break into fragments like during a fight. But when she was with Allie, intensity meant something else. Everything became heavy and slowed down. Time felt perfectly in tact, a beautiful arc that promised to prove easy to travel.

            Allie did not seem to mind in the least that Bea was trembling. She moved Bea’s hair off her shoulder to kiss down the line of her neck and slipped her hands up Bea’s shirt in the back. Her hands came up over Bea’s ribs to rest on her shoulder blades, and she let their bodies press together fully. A sort of gravity formed between them, and Bea felt as if she were more present in her body in this moment than in ordinary life. Bea could feel Allie’s breasts under the fabric of her shirt against her own chest, and she leaned back and felt her hands move to Allie’s shoulders, wanting to run down her chest and feel.

            She hesitated instead, and this made her imagine herself unfit to be with Allie. Bea burned with a long-held discomfort of feeling that she was not right for sex. Allie must have read the longing in Bea’s expression. But what she saw clearly meant something different to Allie than what was in Bea’s mind. Allie took off her own shirt and gathered Bea’s hands to her naked body – simple as that.

            They were kissing again, and Bea’s hands moved over Allie’s skin that felt so warm and soft that sheer astonishment carried her on. She moved her hands to hold Allie’s breasts and found them stunningly heavy. She felt Allie’s nipples growing hard in her hands and worked them under her fingertips. Allie’s lips broke away from her own, as she pressed Bea back towards the bed, practically unsteadied with longing.

            Bea found herself guiding Allie to her bed. An awareness of the room and what was happening came back to her as Allie climbed in and turned to reach out for her. She found herself thinking that she really didn’t know anything about sex, but the thought did not bother her now. She climbed in with Allie, who drew her right close and carefully got one of her legs settled in between Bea’s. They hauled one another into a kiss, and Bea felt her own voice make a distinct sound of pleasure. Allie touched her throat at the sound, and Bea felt Allie shudder and knew it was not with hesitancy but with sheer anticipation. She felt Allie’s hands wrestling gently with her shirt, wanting to drag it off. They slipped underneath it instead and ran up, pressing into the muscles along her spine.

            Allie managed to work her way in closer to Bea, until they felt completely tangled up in one another. Bea got her mouth on Allie’s neck and moved herself down in the bed. She took Allie’s breasts in her hands, and the touch made Allie gasp again. Bea carefully kissed Allie’s breasts. Allie pressed her elbows into the mattress, as if to push her body up in Bea’s touch. When she gained her composure a little more, she got her hands around to the front and touched Bea’s breasts, as well. Everything became a sort of frenzy of passion between them. Bea wondered at one point how they managed not to hurt one another, they were kissing and holding onto one another so hard.

            After a long while, Allie sort of dragged Bea back to get a look at her face. She considered Bea’s expression. Allie’s eyes looked incredibly dark in the dim room.

            “Is this all right for you?” Allie asked.

            “Are you fucking kidding me?” Bea said.

            Allie started laughing. Bea buried her head in the curve of Allie’s shoulder and laughed in relief. Allie pulled her back up again to kiss her more. Bea got a good look at Allie’s almost naked body in the lamplight. She kept glancing back at Allie’s face to make sure she was comfortable being seen. Allie just watched her with a smile at the corners of her mouth. An eagerness swept Bea up, and she reached with both hands to take off Allie’s underwear before catching herself.

            “Can I take these off?” Bea said.

            “Yeah,” Allie said with a swift nod, clearly surprised.

            Bea dragged the underwear down off Allie’s legs, as she lifted herself up to help. Allie clutched Bea’s arm just above the shoulder. Bea leaned down to kiss low on Allie’s stomach and feel the curves of Allie’s hips.

            “I want to touch you,” Bea said holding on hard to Allie’s thigh.

            “Fuck, Bea,” Allie managed as she strained against the feel of Bea’s hand on her leg and then let herself down into the bed.

            Bea came over Allie and found herself dragged into an embrace. She had her hand on Allie already, and Allie bent her knee to draw up her thigh, pressing it to Bea’s side. They kissed as Bea felt her way over Allie’s body for the first time. Allie held and kissed her hard, making soft sounds of pleasure already, and trying to keep as quiet as she could manage. She held Bea in their kiss to remain quieter, the sounds she made muffled by Bea’s mouth upon her own.

            Allie moved her hips to match Bea’s hand. Her desire was so transparent, Bea felt herself swept up. Bea kissed everywhere she could reach, leaning down to kiss Allie’s breasts more. Allie’s hands moved all over her, holding her hard.

            Allie took Bea’s face in her hands, so she could look at her. Bea found herself holding her breath, astonished by the feel of Allie’s body moving with her coupled with the sight of her face. Allie’s expression made it clear how deep and encompassing the pleasure she felt really was, and she wanted Bea to see this. Her openness and generosity came from a place of bravery that Bea didn’t even know existed in the context of sex. She wished she knew how to even begin to respond.

            When Allie licked her lips and prepared to say something, Bea found herself holding her breath. She felt desperate to hear anything Allie had to say. Her voice came a bit cracked with the intensity of the pleasure she was experiencing.

            “Touch inside,” Allie said, “Would you?”

            She seemed to be struggling between desire and worry about Bea’s consent. Bea responded at once and found it easy to press into Allie. Allie clutched Bea hard to herself, and Bea’s mind became a bit scattered with worry. She was so wet that it was easy to move inside of her, but she wasn’t sure exactly how to do it. Allie’s response was enough to drag Bea past her anxiety, and she found herself matching her touch to the movements of Allie’s hips, following the subtlest signs of how she wanted this. Allie responded with such obvious pleasure, Bea found it nearly impossible to get lost or worry that she might hurt her accidentally.  

            She learned to press into the front of Allie’s body. Allie would gasp and shudder at this. She held on hard to Bea. Bea brought her knee up eventually and found the right angle, so she could touch Allie with both hands. The feel of this made Allie give a series of sharp gasps, and her shoulders pressed down into the mattress. She held her breath and trembled, then she arched forward into Bea, muffling her cries by placing her mouth against Bea’s neck. Bea held onto her, rocking the two of them.

            Allie was quiet for only a moment, before she leaned back and kissed Bea again. The passion in her body had changed, but it hadn’t gone away. Bea felt herself make a moan as Allie’s hands moved over her body again. She felt sensitized somehow, even more open to the feel of Allie’s hands on her body and mouth on her own. The sounds Allie had made seemed to still be echoing, not just in her mind, but in her entire body.

            Allie was tugging her shirt up almost desperately, pulling Bea up more, and moving down so she could kiss Bea’s breasts. Bea could barely keep herself held up on her arms, but she managed to gain her balance. She pulled her shirt off and tossed it away, already sinking down into Allie’s embrace. Allie pressed very gently at Bea’s arm to see if she would turn over. Bea practically fell over onto her side, and Allie followed her at once, unwilling to stop kissing her neck and chest even for a few seconds. Her hands were moving all over Bea and making Bea practically dizzy. Bea reached down and began to take off her underwear. Allie realized what she was doing and took over, slipping them down off her legs.

            Allie stopped what felt almost abruptly and came up to kiss Bea. Bea got Allie by the back of the neck with both hands and pulled her into the kiss. Allie got herself up onto her knees a bit and moved carefully over Bea. Her knee nudged at Bea’s thighs to get them to part, and she moved over when they did to settle herself between Bea’s legs.

            Bea held her eyes fast shut. She could feel her heart racing, and the passion rushing through her body hit a pitch that felt like an aching pressure in the sides of her neck. She felt Allie grow gentler. Her hands came to rest on Bea’s breasts, and she kissed her throat. She slowly bent her knee until her thigh pressed up between Bea’s legs, and she reached down to tug slightly at Bea’s hip.

            They kissed like this for a long time. Allie managed to move her thigh against Bea, even as she kissed her breasts. Bea found herself pulling at Allie, wanting her with a desperate, indiscriminate passion. She felt almost maddened with the intensity of her own longing, an experience she had never had before. Any other time, she would have found this frightening. But any fear was drowned out by pleasure now.

            Allie ran her hand over the inside of Bea’s thigh, and Bea reached down to hold Allie’s wrist but didn’t stop her. The back of Bea’s hand pressed against her other thigh, and it felt wet. A flicker of self-consciousness broke through her longing. Her back arched forward reflexively, as Allie squeezed gently at the top of her thigh. She turned her hand over to touch with her fingertips and lightly felt the curls between her legs. Bea brought her own hand away.

            “Oh, my God,” Bea said, her voice frail with surprise and open embarrassment, “I’m wet all over.”

            “That’s how you know it’s good,” Allie said in a heavy and relaxed tone of voice, even as she turned her face in order to kiss Bea.

            Allie kissed her so deeply that it made a groan sound in Bea’s chest. Allie was cupping Bea’s body and making her fingers wet. Even the feel of those first touches made Bea gasp and moan in their kiss. Allie kept her mouth close to Bea’s and nudged Bea’s thighs with her hand to get her to open them a little more. She licked at Bea’s lips to open her mouth more as she opened Bea to her touch with delicate strokes of her fingertips.

            “Oh, my God,” Bea said again.

            Allie had come down on top of Bea more. She was pressing into her now. She stopped kissing her shoulder and turned to her ear.

            “Is it good?” Allie asked.

            “Yeah,” Bea barely managed.

            She gasped against Allie’s neck as Allie stroked her body. Her back flexed, and she leaned forward and pressed her open mouth into Allie’s shoulder to soften the sounds she could not help but make. A worry that Allie would get angry at the sounds she made flared up inside of her and faded away. Now that she was on the other side of this, Bea found it easier to understand Allie’s response. Every sound she made seemed to sink into Allie and cause the most profound pleasure in her.

            Allie turned to kiss Bea, as she kept on touched her, taking up a rhythm and moving her whole body to press into Bea’s. After a while, Allie leaned back to glance at Bea’s face. The expression she made witnessing Bea made Bea stop almost breathing. She took Allie’s face in her hands. She had to close her eyes to do it, but Bea let Allie watch her responding as she touched her.

            Bea could not have said how much time passed. Allie’s movements weren’t slow, but they were deliberate and steady. She seemed to want to hold onto this experience for as long as possible. She felt Allie’s tongue slip across the base of her throat then found her mouth on her breasts again. Then they were holding one another so close, Allie’s chin rested on her shoulder.

            Allie pressed carefully into Bea, and Bea felt that her own breath seemed to be snuffed out silently. The touch inside her body felt good, she knew. But Bea found herself bracing as if expecting pain anyways. She wished she could shake her head to clear her thoughts and held her eyes closed tight. She found herself trying to hold onto Allie and to go along with whatever Allie wanted with her.

            Her response must have changed in some perceptible way. Allie leaned back to get a look at Bea’s face. And Bea felt Allie’s hands on her chest and shoulder. Bea thought of saying something, but the thought seemed to slip from her mind, as if she dropped it. She felt disoriented. Allie’s voice came out breathless and worried.

            “Hey,” Allie said running the back of her hand over Bea’s neck. “Bea. We don’t have to do that. Hey. Come back.”

            She leaned in to kiss Bea’s neck. She shifted the two of them in the bed to lie beside Bea. And Bea helped to draw them together as Allie moved to get herself close.

            “Come back to me,” Allie said.

            Bea turned her face towards Allie and tried to say something. Her voice seemed stuck, jammed up somehow. She tried to shake off whatever had come over her. She seemed to finally feel Allie there in the bed beside her again and wasn’t sure when she had lost her. She pressed her forehead into Allie’s shoulder and felt a strain of wanting to come back to the experience.

            “I didn’t mean to scare ya’, “ Allie said softly.

            They kissed once more, and Allie worked her hands gently over Bea’s body, trying to coax her back. Bea felt herself trembling again, and the feel of Allie's hands when they touched her face made her aware that tears were falling from her eyes. Allie's touch grew slowly more firm and passionate. Bea felt her own voice almost break lose into a sound of pleasure, and she felt Allie’s body shift and practically sink into the bed with relief. She brought Bea back up into a pitch of the pleasure that felt almost desperate, then she placed her hand between Bea’s legs again. The pleasure felt so intense it was almost sharp. Allie tugged at Bea’s thigh to get her to move her hips along with her the movement of her hand.

            When Bea moved her hips, the pleasure seemed to flash out deep and low in her stomach. Allie seemed to feel this at once. She moved down almost urgently to get her mouth on Bea’s breast and took the other in her hand to work her nipples. Bea’s body broke out into a shudder of pleasure that made a heat seem to roll through her body and come bursting through her skin. She shuddered with it and held hard to Allie, until finally she felt herself coming down and beginning to relax again.

            Allie lay perfectly still, breathing deeply, with her forehead pressed to Bea’s chest. Bea let her mind go blank. She felt suddenly, incredibly tired. The exhaustion seemed to gather in her head, and her mind went so blank that she might have been asleep for an instant. Allie leaned back a little. She reached up to place her hand on Bea’s face, and Bea came up onto her elbow.

            Allie moved up a little in the bed, and the two of them kissed with a careful, slow gesture. Bea’s entire body felt like it had been shaken almost violently only moments before this incredible stillness between them. She felt open and vulnerable and found herself surprised when the feel of Allie’s lips on her own felt so delicate and created the sweetest pleasure. She would have thought it would feel like it was too much.

            After a while, Allie got her legs tangled up in Bea’s once more. When they cooled off, Bea dragged the sheets and blanket out of behind her, where they were jammed against the wall. They got themselves covered, and the space between their bodies warmed within no time. Allie’s hand kept trailing slowly over Bea’s body, as if she were trying to memorize the shape of her.

            Bea thought of leaning over Allie to turn off the light. Instead, she let her eyes close and titled her face a little close to Allie’s. Just as she was falling asleep, she felt Allie turn her face up, kiss her, and brush her tongue very softly over Bea’s lips. Bea opened her mouth and kissed Allie a few times, fighting sleep to do it.

            “I need to go,” Allie whispered.

            “Why?” Bea said. “Stay.”

            “What about the others?” Allie said.

            “I couldn’t keep this a secret from them if I tried. And I don’t want to try.”

            She felt Allie hesitate for a minute. Then Allie turned over to click off the lamp and turned back to her again. Bea’s hand found the line of Allie’s jaw in the darkness, and she titled her face up just slightly so they could continue kissing.


End file.
